Mercedes are happy but punters may fancy a stroll.

On Sunday afternoon, clutching one betting slip with Sebastian Vettel etched on it and another with the phrase ‘each-way’ above the name Lewis Hamilton, I was as smug as a slug sat on a lettuce leaf on a rainy summer’s day.

By Sunday evening, following the calamitous British Grand Prix, thick clouds had gathered and I was left scratching my head until a bald patch had appeared.

I’m a great believer in the ethos that every cloud, no matter how dark, has a 40-watt bayonet-fitting incandescent candle-shaped bulb glowing in it somewhere. And it’s true.

This morning, after someone twisted my dimmer-switch, I took the wife’s car down to the garage, put a brand new set of Pirellis on it, gave her my last £100 and told her to dash down the motorway to the nearest Marks & Spencer’s, buy a summer dress, and hurry back home to show me how it looks. Oh, and a reminder, “don’t slow down for speed humps or kerbs.”

Who knows what will happen? Who knows if she will return? It’s a little like this F1 season where nothing seems to make sense and the results are very much going against us. Considering recent form, I just know Mrs B. will be back presently and probably clutching a speeding ticket.

Pin Pointers

So this weekend it’s the Nurburgring version of the German F1 GP. Can you believe its 13 years since a disgruntled Mercedes employee decided to take a stroll up the track during the German Grand Prix? I’m led to believe all Mercedes staff are happy enough nowadays but more people are betting on this F1 game than ever and I can testify us punters get very discontented.

I’ve been considering the blindfolded pin in the paper approach this weekend as there’s little solid form to go on when it comes to Nurburgring. Just three recent F1 races have been staged at this 5.148km circuit. It is, mercifully, described as ‘kind to tyres’ but decisive pointers are still hard to identify even before considering the odd exploding gearbox and frequent exploding tyres. My bald patch grows bigger.

There are some telling similarities between the German track and Silverstone. The longest flat-out stretch at the British track is 890 metres, at Nurburgring its 800 metres for example. Top speeds are nearly identical as is the time spent at full throttle (62%/64%). Nurburgring is not dissimilar to Monaco either. The number of gear changes per-lap is near identical (54/58) and the brakes are severely tested at both.

With Nico Rosberg taking the gold medal at the above venues allied to three pole positions this season, in a car whose qualifying figures now read: 3-6-4-6-1-4-1-4-1-2-1-2-2-4-1-2, doubtlessly the winds of confidence are billowing in his sails.

Meanwhile Ferrari must be feeling like a character from Sam Taylor’s Rime of the Ancient Mariner. Its qualifying figures are starting to look like someone’s lotto numbers. Early season starting positions of 4-5-2-3-3-5-3-6 are now a distant memory and the scarlet car is currently starting in an average position of 11.6.

Dynamic Duo