28/07/2019
NEWS STORY
There's a superb sketch by Mitchell and Webb in which David Mitchell absolutely nails the ridiculous, over-the-top build-up that Sky gives to every single football match that it shows.
Ahead of today's German Grand Prix however, one would forgive Sky, and indeed any other F1 broadcaster, for going full-on in terms of hyperbole, for today's race could be epic, surpassing anything witnessed at the Red Bull Ring or Silverstone.
For a start off we have Lewis Hamilton starting alongside Max Verstappen, surely the hottest ticket in town. While Valtteri Bottas and Pierre Gasly behind could be fun, we also have the canny old fox Kimi Raikkonen in the mix, not forgetting Romain Grosjean.
And then there's the Ferrari pair, both chomping at the bit following yesterday's misery, Charles Leclerc starting tenth and Sebastian Vettel tenth.
Imagine, if you will, after last year's nightmare, the German were to redeem himself by battling through the field to take a podium.
Then, to cap it all off, we have the weather gods, who, having opted to reduce temperatures a little, look set to ensure a real humdinger of a race by ensuring rain... and plenty of it.
Though the threat has been there throughout, following heavy rain overnight, which once again washed away the previously lain rubber, it looks set to continue for much of the afternoon.
The rear of the official race programme for the 1993 Belgian Grand Prix featured a picture of Ayrton Senna in his McLaren, seemingly in prayer. "Please, let it rain," read the caption.
One can easily imagine similar images of Seb and Charles today, though a number of drivers, including Lewis and Max would be happy.
Of course, with no wet running this weekend, or pretty much this year, Pirelli's Mario Isola admits that it would be a giant step into the unknown for everyone.
Should however, the weather gods opt not to play, deeming that we should be satisfied with the thrill provided by the previous two races, the optimal race strategy would be a one-stopper, starting on mediums for 24 to 29 laps before switching to the hards until the finish. Slightly slower than that will another one-stopper, but this time starting on softs for 18 to 22 laps before moving onto the hards.
A two-stopper is definitely slower, but one to bear in mind if the degradation on soft is higher than expected (in case the weather is warmer than anticipated, for example). In which case, it's equally as quick to do two stints on softs (of 15 to 18 laps each) and one stint on mediums, or one stint on softs (of 15 to 18 laps) and two stints on mediums (of 22 to 26 laps each).
If it rains, the top 10 drivers on the grid won't have the obligation to start on the tyres with which they set their best Q2 times, nor will they have to use more than one compound.
After qualifying Hamilton revealed that Mercedes had considered drafting in Esteban Ocon to replace him after the Briton felt unwell overnight. Speaking ahead of today's race, when told of his former teammate's 'man flu', Nico Rosberg suggested that Lewis is a bit of a drama queen. No!
The pitlane opens and as the rain continues to fall, full wets are the order of the day. With so little wet running this year, there is lots of activity as the drivers seek to use the fifteen minutes for some 'proper' wet running. Indeed, some pit and switch to Inters.
A number of drivers fall foul of the conditions and run wide, Hamilton amongst them.
Asked to describe the conditions, Norris replies: "f****** wet, can't see a thing."
"Way too much water with the Inters," says Leclerc, "aquaplaning quite a lot."
Told that even on the Inters the temperatures are high, he is advised that this is the tyres to go with. "It's just the aquaplaning for the first few laps," he is helpfully warned by Andy Shovlin.
Air temperature is 21.2 degrees C, while the track temperature is 26.4 degrees.
The big debate is whether the race should start behind the safety car or not, naturally the likes of Magnussen want a 'proper' standing start.
The formation lap will take place behind the safety car, but hopefully not the race start. Indeed, as we know, Bottas intends starting on Inters.
It is then confirmed to Hamilton that there will be "some laps" behind the safety car to clear the water, before a decision is made as to whether the race will begin with a standing or rolling start. Somewhat ironic when you consider how much Mercedes is making of the history of the sport this weekend.
The wraps come off and all are starting on full wets.
"More of the same, light rain for thirty to sixty minutes," Hamilton is advised.
The field heads off on the formation lap(s), unlike those behind him, Hamilton has the benefit of great visibility.
As the safety car begins a second lap, Magnussen asks them to get on with it, Verstappen voicing similar thoughts.
"The safety car needs to come in, it's not that wet," says Hamilton, "C'mon, let's go."
Asked the conditions at the start of yet another lap, Verstappen replies: "Perfect to go."
At which point it is confirmed that the safety car will pull off and the race will get underway with a standing start.
After three formation laps, the grid finally forms. Race distance is reduced from 67 to 64 laps.
They're away. Strong starts from both Mercedes, while Verstappen loses ground. Further back, as spray covers most of the field, Leclerc is alongside Gasly.
Into T1 Bottas runs wide, and as he rejoins the track Raikkonen is almost alongside. Behind, Verstappen holds fourth, as Sainz, Grosjean and Hulkenberg are side-by-side into T2, as Giovinazzi runs wide.
Grosjean is the meat in the sandwich at the hairpin, and as Hulkenberg forces the Haas wide, Sainz has to take avoiding action.
At the end of lap 1, it's: Hamilton, Bottas, Raikkonen, Verstappen, Hulkenberg, Leclerc, Grosjean, Gasly, Sainz and Magnussen. Vettel is up to 14th.
Sainz runs wide as he battles with Grosjean, the Frenchman moving up to 7th in the process.
Verstappen nails Raikkonen at the hairpin, While Magnussen and Perez are continually swapping positions.
It's all over for Perez, who spins and clouts the wall at T11.
The safety car is deployed and Vettel and Albon both pit for Inters. Hamilton is also told to pit.
Sure enough, at the end of lap 2, Hamilton pits, as do Bottas, Verstappen, Raikkonen, Hulkenberg, Leclerc and Uncle Tom Cobbly. Stroll doesn't pit, nor does Magnussen, Norris, Russell and Kubica.
The safety cars withdraws at the end of lap 4, as replay shows Leclerc almost taking out Grosjean during the pit stops.
Inter-shod Bottas soon dispatches wet-shod Magnussen. Vettel is now up to 11th.
Leclerc lines up Magnussen, but the Dane isn't going to make it easy. However, the Ferrari driver passes the Haas in the final corner. Though he almost loses it in T1, he holds position while Hulkenberg passes Magnussen.
On board reveals Vettel was very nearly hit by Kubica as he worked his way through the wet strugglers.
Check out our Sunday gallery from Hockenheim, here.
Norris pits at the end of lap 6, as Vettel is up to 6th having passed three cars in almost as many corners.
Next up for Vettel is his former teammate, Raikkonen, who is battling Magnussen.
Vettel closes on Raikkonen into T1, but the Finn is having none of it, and instead takes the opportunity to nail Magnussen.
The Leclerc/Grosjean pitlane incident is under investigation.
Magnussen pits at the end of lap 8, rejoining in 16th.
Down in 12th, Ricciardo has Kvyat and Gasly on his heels.
After 9 laps, everyone is on Inters.
Stroll is told that heavier rain is coming, and that he should look after his tyres.
As some drivers report that the track is drying, Leclerc does well to hold it all together as his car gets unruly in the final corner.
No time penalty for Leclerc for that pitlane incident, instead Ferrari gets a fine.
Still in seventh, amidst talk that he has a turbo issue, Vettel remains 2.5s down on Raikkonen and 34s down on the leader.
Lap 14 sees a major engine failure for Ricciardo, the thick blue smoke adding to the visibility issues of Gasly who is running behind.
The VSC is deployed.
Leclerc pits for more Inters, while Hulkenberg also pits. The German rejoins just ahead of Vettel, while Leclerc remains second, despite an issue with his front-right.
On lap 17 DRS is enabled. Verstappen makes a move on Bottas the hairpin, but the rear end of the RB15 will not have it. He does well not to spin.
On his fresh Inters, Leclerc posts a new fastest lap (27.697), almost 3s quicker than the race leader.
The other 'stopper', Hulkenberg passes Raikkonen for 5th.
Sainz goes off at the final corner, bringing out the yellows. He rejoins in 14th, a costly mistake for the Spaniard.
"These tyres are pretty knackered," reports Vettel.
As Verstappen closes on Bottas, Magnussen is given no quarter by Stroll as they battle for 15th.
Magnussen pits at the end of lap 22, the Dane switching to softs. Either a very bold move or suicide for it has started raining again, albeit very lightly. He rejoins in 16th
"Box, box for new softs," Vettel is told. The German subsequently obliges, rejoining in 11th, behind Grosjean.
As he stalks Bottas, Verstappen is all over the place, his rears, in particular, having no grip.
Kubica pits at the end of lap 24.
Verstappen pits at the end of lap 25, the Dutchman rejoining in 4th on mediums. As he leaves the pits the rear of the Red Bull wobbles. Kvyat, Norris and Stroll also stop.
"Push, push," Bottas is told. The Finn pits at the end of lap 26, he too takes on mediums.
Meanwhile a big spin for Verstappen, who is clearly struggling on those mediums.
Next time around, Raikkonen, Giovinazzi, Gasly and Grosjean all pit.
"I've lost power," reports Norris after spinning.
Leclerc pits at the end of lap 27 as the VSC is deployed as Norris' car is removed.
The Monegasque rejoins in second, having twice benefited from the deployment of the VSC. Albon also pits as does Sainz.
Hamilton pits at the end of lap 28, at which point the VSC is withdrawn.
Disaster for Leclerc, the youngster if off track and in the barriers at T17. The roar for the Dutch fans drowns out the engine noise.
As the youngster utters a stream of expletives, the safety car proper is deployed.
Vettel pits, the German switching back to Inters, while a whole number of other drivers also stop.
Hamilton has gone off at the final corner and damaged his front wing. "Box, box, I've lost the front wing," shouts Hamilton. He pits, as do Verstappen and Hulkenberg, however the crew is not ready for the Briton who endures a nightmare stop.
Bottas subsequently pits, and almost loses it in the pitlane, as Verstappen takes the lead amidst the confusion.
Behind Verstappen, with the safety car still deployed, it's Hulkenberg, Bottas, Albon, Hamilton, Sainz, Raikkonen, Vettel, Gasly and Giovinazzi.
To add to the fun, Hamilton is under investigation for entering the pits on the wrong side of the entry bollard.
"How bad is the damage to the car," asks Hamilton. He is told that the team will need to look, but that it appears to only be the front wing that was damaged.
The safety car is withdrawn at the end of lap 34.
The race resumes and Vettel looks to nail Gasly in T1, but is unable to make it stick.
Sainz is all over Hamilton who is battling Albon.
Hamilton gets a 5s time penalty for that pit stop infringement.
Running together - which is always a worry - Grosjean and Magnussen are all over Kvyat.
Unable to pass Albon, Hamilton is losing vital time.
To add to his woes, Hamilton is under investigation for driving too slowly behind the safety car.
Bottas closes on Hulkenberg, as Verstappen enjoys a 7.8s lead. Hulkenberg is told he looks stronger than Bottas in S3... at which point the Finn passes the German for second.
Having passed Albon, Hamilton now closes on Hulkenberg. When the Briton finally makes his move at the hairpin, Hulkenberg offers little or no resistance.
Gasly is all over the back of Vettel, who appears to be struggling having lost ground to Raikkonen.
"We expect the rain to slowly reduce," Gasly is told.
Out front, Verstappen posts a new fastest lap (27.623), as Raikkonen runs wide in the final corner. In the process the Finn is passed by Vettel and Gasly and is now under attack from his Alfa teammate, Giovinazzi. A rare mistake from The Iceman.
Oh dear. Misery for Hulkenberg, who is off and in the barriers at the final corner. He attempts to drive out of the kitty litter, but in fact buries himself in the stuff.
Which means, as the safety car is deployed, Vettel is up to sixth.
Verstappen pits at the end of lap 41, the race leader sticking with Inters. Vettel also pits, the German likewise sticking with the green-banded rubber. As Grosjean also pits, Vettel rejoins in tenth.
Check out our Sunday gallery from Hockenheim, here.
"Is it safe or virtual," asks Vettel, bringing back memories of a certain uncomfortable scene in Marathon Man. Once again, there's an issue with the front-right.
Magnussen pits at the end of lap 42.
Hamilton asks why he hasn't pitted for fresh rubber. He is told that if he pits he will need to serve his time penalty which would further compromise him. "My tyres aren't in particularly great shape," he reports.
Asked about the conditions, Verstappen reports that it is "tricky", and that the final three corners are very slippery.
As the safety car is withdrawn at the end of lap 45, Stroll stops for softs. Since he is last (14th), it's a question of nothing ventured...
The race resumes (again), at which point Kvyat and Magnussen pit.
Vettel nails Giovinazzi, while Sainz attempts to go around the outside of Hamilton, and Albon around the inside.
At then end of lap 46, Verstappen pits, as do Bottas, Sainz, Gasly, Albon, Grosjean and Kubica.
Are you keeping up with this?
So, Hamilton leads Raikkonen, with Vettel third!
Hamilton pits at the end of lap 47, as do Raikkonen, Vettel, Giovinazzi and Russell.
Lance Stroll leads.
Yes, you read that right, Stroll leads.
That said, moments later he is passed by Verstappen, as Kvyat is third, ahead of Bottas, Sainz, Magnussen, Albon, Gasly, Vettel and Grosjean. Hamilton is 12th.
Kvyat posts a new fastest lap (20.031).
"How has it got this bad," asks Hamilton, the Briton as confused as the rest of us.
As Albon passes Magnussen for sixth, Verstappen posts a new fastest lap (18.386).
Vettel is all over the rear of Gasly, as Kvyat harries Stroll.
Courtesy of DRS, Kvyat sweeps by Stroll for second.
Down in 13th, Giovinazzi now goes quickest (17.643). Moments later Vettel posts 17.590, as he closes to within 0.6s of Albon.
A mistake sees Hamilton spin in the first corner. He does well not to hit the barriers, and as he rejoins in 13th, with only the Williams duo behind, the crowd roars.
Grosjean sweeps past his Haas teammate, with Raikkonen in hot pursuit.
At the end of lap 53, Hamilton makes his fifth stop of the day. Rejoining in last position.
As Vettel posts another fastest lap (17.045), in the process the German passes Albon for 6th.
Verstappen is told to take it easy and avoid the white lines, which is where Hamilton came to grief.
As the camera picks up on the Haas pair touching wheels, Bottas is off just after Turn 1 and in the barriers, the front of the Mercedes badly damaged. "Asked if he is OK, the Finn merely replies: "Yep, no good, sorry guys".
Again, the safety car is deployed.
Hamilton makes his sixth stop of the day.
Magnussen pits as does Kubica.
The safety car is withdrawn at the end of lap 58.
Verstappen hold his lead, as Sainz attempt to generate more heat into his tyres.
Vettel nails the Spaniard, and sets off after Stroll, as Albon passes Gasly for 6th.
The stewards are looking at the Haas clash.
The crowd roars as Vettel sweeps past Stroll on the run to T6.
Gasly is off, his race over after running into the back of Albon as he attempted pass the Toro Rosso.
Again, the crowd roars as Vettel now nails Kvyat to take second. Verstappen remains 4.041s up the road.
The Gasly/Albon incident is under investigation.
As Verstappen heads towards the flag, the stands are a sea of orange. However, the crowd also roars in favour of Vettel and indeed Kvyat.
So, deep breath, Verstappen wins, ahead of Vettel, Kvyat, Stroll, Sainz, Albon, Raikkonen, Giovinazzi, Grosjean and Magnussen.
Hamilton is eleventh, ahead of Kubica and Russell.
"What a race," says Vettel, summing up the afternoon for all of us.
A day of epic highs and woeful lows.
A miserable day for Mercedes, particularly in light of the effort it has gone to in order to celebrate the historic significance of the event, but it's a one-off, and though frustrated, Hamilton knows that his title hopes haven't been too badly dented.
However, as Mercedes ponders its line-up for next year, Bottas hasn't helped his chances, while Gasly may well have signed his own 'death warrant' with that dreadful mistake at the end.
It's all too easy to get carried away in the moment and surely some will claim this to have been the greatest race ever, a ludicrous claim if you are familiar with the long history of the sport.
But it is certainly up there, for it had a bit of everything, drama, incident, uncertainty, thrill, happy endings and tears, basically what we want from our favourite movies. Indeed, Kvyat describes it as a "horror movie with black comedy".
Next week we head to Hungary, where we are highly unlikely to see such conditions and Mercedes is likely to make up today's disaster.
In the meantime, this is one race that will stand up to a second or third viewing.
Great stuff.
Check out our Sunday gallery from Hockenheim, here.