02/06/2017
NEWS STORY
It's the biggest, most important, most iconic race of the Formula 1 season, and the guys at Pitpass found it thoroughly enthralling.
Well, if by enthralling you mean about as exciting as watching paint dry, grass grow or the sands of time wear away the landscape…
No, Monaco 2017 wasn't an especially exciting race, as we pretty much expected, though it did create a few talking points.
For example, at 05:55 on race day, at a time even insomniacs are struggling to stay awake, Britain's Channel 4 showed Roman Polanski's iconic movie Weekend of a Champion, an up close and personal look at Jackie Stewart's 1971 Monaco weekend.
Everything about it was iconic insists Balfe, the cars, the liveries, the drivers - though a number of them were dead within a couple of seasons.
Back then, the drivers were the rock stars, be it the embarrassingly good looking Francois Cevert, the dashing Graham Hill or the long-haired Mr Stewart himself.
While the race attracted the genuine movie stars and even member of The Beatles, it was the drivers, the charioteers, gladiators, who were the true stars.
Fast forward to 2017 and the drivers play second-fiddle to models and TV 'stars' like Ant and Dec, barely heard of outside their native countries.
Indeed, as opposed to Monaco 2017, the biggest talking point, as far as our team is concerned, happened across that large pond known as the Atlantic Ocean, where Fernando Alonso did his best not to get dizzy.
The problem was, while the two-time world champion was chasing his Triple Crown, editor Balfe found his head spinning as he tried to work out exactly what was being gained out of the whole Indianapolis jaunt. Of course, there was the ultimate irony of his Honda engine giving up the ghost, leaving the prospect of the Spaniard returning to a sodden F1 seat courtesy of Jenson Button.
Whatever the result at Indy, Balfe believes Fernando and IndyCar were the winners, and F1, Honda and McLaren very much the losers.
Indeed, using Mike Lawrence as an example, Balfe believes the 2017 Indy 500 might have been a watershed moment for motor sport.
Back to Monaco and using the well-established biscuit test, Balfe reveals that he headed into the race on a two-packet strategy, and who can blame him, because other than an unusual shunt for Pascal Wehrlein, the biscuits were the tastiest piece of action all afternoon.
While we're at it, we'd also like to take this opportunity to submit a formal request to Haas that they actually paint their car, Mat Coch branding the car 'a lovely shade of undercoat' while Balfe suggests it's the sort of colour only Ron Dennis could love.
Speaking of McLaren, and it's hard not to given it's embarking on its worst Formula 1 season on record, Balfe is stumped when Coch asks him to pick the common thread between Stefano Modena, Vitantonio Liuzzi and Stoffel Vandoorne. Can you?
Of course it wouldn't be a complete show without Max Noble back agreeing with everything everyone says, though at one point he does risk the sack as he's caught agreeing a little too much.
And then there's Lance Troll. Seriously, Lance Troll...
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