08/09/2011
FEATURE BY GLEN CROMPTON
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I suspect the respectable end of F1-Hack-World have already long-since published their versions of a mid term report. Myself I shy away from such schoolboy titles, not least because there is a whiff of deadlines about them and, as Editor Balfe will attest, I am not good with deadlines. None the less, I've a bit to say about the F1 year to date and much of it is cranky. Read on if you wish to vote me onto the next season of Grumpy Old Men.
The Taming of Lewis
I wouldn't exactly call myself a fan of Lewis Hamilton - at least not in the traditional sense. All the same I think the kid is an amazing talent and if I had my way, the grid would be filled with Lewis clones. He is, as far as I'm concerned, a racer's racer.
He'll drive the wheels off whatever is under him, drag a poor performer way past its limits and never let a chance go by. Yes, there have been silly mistakes and yes, he's been a little recalcitrant in admitting them but then I wouldn't have him any other way. Many will pillory me for this thought but Lewis reminds me of Villeneuve the elder and in my world, that is high praise.
I certainly don't want him tamed and I fear the McLaren corporate machine is going up this path. God forbid! There is sterility enough among F1 drivers these days without curbing the natural zeal of a legitimate talent prepared to say what he thinks - however wrong it may sometimes be.
Accordingly, I've grown rather weary of Lewis' systematic vilification at the hands of numpty segments of the F1 press. Here I speak of the dullards who's every keystroke seems predicated by their enslavement to their next year's accreditation. In fairness, I suppose that's a real issue. I seem to recall stories of FIA seniors engaging in machinations to derail Martin Brundle's future as a broadcaster after he dared speak out on the so-called Stepneygate issue.
Further down the food chain are the sometime hacks who likely could not sustain a journalistic career but for the red and green wavy lines Microsoft products tend to place under atrocities of spelling and grammar. Here I speak of those who have no insight into F1 beyond their editor telling them they have to have one and, in some cases, these are editors in the employ of a company whose regard for the law apropos illegally tapping phones is currently a matter of global interest.
But, as ever, I have digressed. Personally, I think Lewis is far better than to be influenced by the rantings of miscreant publications. I just hope his media masters at Woking are up to scratch. Personally, I don't want to see Lewis mitigated one little bit.
KERS, DRS and Dodgy Tyres
Much column space in print and on the interweb has been dedicated to what a cracking season it has been. "ooh, look at all that passing" they blurt, "it's what we've all wanted for years and now we have it".
Needless to say I believe this twaddle is authored by same idiots I just decried. Sycophantic snouts in the trough of F1.
Yes there is passing but it is so artificial it makes my stomach turn. In order to achieve this rolling festival of passing, the FIA has sanctioned 3 elements that I find to be nothing more than an admission that the fundamental rule package of F1 is fatally flawed.
Let's have a little look at the tools of the farce in no particular order. There's the horribly degrading tyres that force pit stops - coupled with a rule that both the available compounds for a weekend have to be used during a race unless it rains and wets or intermediates are used in which case the "both tyres" rule is out the window.
Then there's the recoverable energy system - which smells quite "Green" until you examine the batteries used which nobody yet has figured out how to safely dispose of.
And finally, there's the rear wing you can open, at a point defined by the FIA, to go faster in a straight line. I'd hate to be the one to suggest that grandstand seat prices in DRS zones could be sold at a premium - Oops, I just did
Wow, what a collection of sport-improving things they are! Makes it so easy for lay-fans to understand the sport!!!
Oh, and by the way, despite all this artifice, the current world championship leader can afford to sleep through a few races without losing his lead so I guess the ruse isn't quite working out anyway.
Paying for F1
From the relative televisual safety of Australia, I've watched the nightmare British fans face if they want to see F1 on their televisions. The matter remains somewhat red hot and I understand that BBC seniors have been summoned to explain their decisions to the lower house of Parliament.
For those who missed it or are unaffected, it seems that Britain's publicly funded broadcaster - who presently air F1 - have entered into a deal with a pay TV provider which sees the free-to-air coverage of F1 halved. That is to say only half the season will be free-to-air. The remainder will be available to subscribers of a pay TV network. But guess what? The pay TV network doesn't offer "half-a-season-of-the-F1-races-that-aren't-free-to-air" packages. You either pay for the whole year or you miss out.
Since the machinations of this decision are yet to be explained to the oldest democratic parliament in the world, I dare not speculate too much on how or why it happened. Both the British publicly-funded broadcaster and the sage representative of commercial rights holder of F1 have both made their version of events public and I do not think it unfair to suggest that the two do not tally. I've little knowledge of the BBC's track record but I do know that Mr. Ecclestone is rarely flawed when he bothers to speak publicly. Methinks that the BBC may have made a mistake.
Semantics aside, there is a rather large elephant in that room nobody is willing to acknowledge. Not by tusk or trunk. Every team on the F1 grid sells its sponsorship and partner packages based of the comparative air-time of branding relative to purchasing TV advertising directly. If the UK audience is hobbled from the broad dissemination of free-to-air to those-who-can-be-arsed-paying-for-F1-coverage, all those sales numbers go out the window like a New York Stock Broker during the Great Depression. The move from entirely free-to-air in the UK to partially-free-to-air may open some rather ugly litigious floodgates for F1 teams.
The Calendar
So Istanbul gets the boot but Bahrain is still in? Can somebody please explain that one to me and please, do take it slow. Elsewhere on Pitpass, it has been made clear that any event at Bahrain collides with some serious human rights issues. Turkey, on the other hand, has been doing more than a fair job of dealing with the fallout from the current Syrian crisis. There has to be somebody close to Bernie that can explain the relative merits of each?
Playing Parrd to Want
For me, F1 has a disquieting habit of tossing up hard-to-like mouthpieces. In years gone by, I for one could not fail to warm to the endless, often unsolicited, and usually just-plain-annoying rantings of Brackley incumbent, Nick Fry.
That individual has been thankfully quiet in recent times but, gads, there is a replacement more than willing to funnel themselves into the breach. Try as I might, Adam Parr's reign at Williams is hard to ignore. It is beyond the scope of this article to enumerate all his utterings I've found either annoying or profoundly flawed.
Of note is Adam's recent lecture to F1 Fans about their need to shut up and pay up because the TV deal mentioned above seeing half the F1 season available only on pay TV is a good thing. Me, I find that logic a little like attempting to explain to a convicted witch that she was found guilty because she weighed the same as a duck. Good luck with that one Adam.
I must, of course, add that when Adam publicly spoke of Williams' F1 veteran and F1 legend Patrick Head's future, the grand old man of championships Adam can only dream of was wont to rebuke the statements of his chorological junior. Whatever the substance of that debate, I can at least regard Head as a proven maker of champions. Parr, on the other hand, has but a handful of years in F1 to his name, no championships and, from what I read elsewhere on Pitpass and in Formula Money, a rather unappealing record in fiscal terms apropos his given role.
Wake Up F1
Formula One needs a hand right now and nothing I read in the popular press is doing that. The FIA, CVC, and Bernie need to wake up soon otherwise they'll be competing for airtime on television with next year's International Leapfrogging contest. Hey, maybe that's all F1 deserves?
Glen Crompton
crompo@pitpass.com
To check out previous features from 'Crompo', click here