At the end of Blackpool Pier, Madam Mocata (The People's Medium) is attempting to contact Juan Manuel Fangio in order that the five-time World Champion might join the growing list of Formula One legends eager to criticise McLaren for its shameful manipulation of the Monaco Grand Prix.

In the meantime we'll have to make do with 1996 World Champion, and British Racing Drivers' Club President, Damon Hill, who is mighty miffed at McLaren's Monaco chicanery.

"There is an implicit contract between F1 and the millions who want to watch a race," the Englishman told The Daily Mail. "That contract is broken when the contestants are asked not to compete against each other."

As soon as we get a moment the Pitpass team will have to check the filing cabinet to ensure that our contract with F1 is still valid - and we suggest you, dear readers, do the same.

In the meantime, we'll have to check our various reference books to ensure that the Damon Hill so enraged that the contestants were not allowed to race one another at Monaco is the same Damon Hill that benefited when Ralf Schumacher was ordered to hold station in the closing laps of the 1998 Belgian Grand Prix, thereby giving the Englishman his first win in two years, and Jordan its first ever GP victory.