Some time in the future, a Head of State will trigger the final Nuclear Holocaust by saying “and what does this red button do?” while visiting a submarine. Nothing much will remain alive on Earth apart from cockroaches and F1 Driver Managers. Creatures from other planets will land on Earth and seek to understand our history from the few remaining structures still standing. These will probably include some race track grandstands. Last week in Sepang, the aliens would have realised that the Hibiscus plant was a native of Malaysia as the roof of the spectacular grandstand is a representation of its flower. And in Bahrain, the spectator facility evokes the tents erected by those who wander the deserts of this part of the world.

Therefore, maybe it's time for the other tracks on this year's calendar to update their seating accommodation with some sort of representation of their national treasures. As always, Red Bull is keen to help with some suggestions:

Spain: They produce a temporary structure, because once Alonso quits the sport, the Spanish will lose all interest in F1 and go back to watching MotoGP.

Monaco: Seats will resemble the basket of a building site crane, the national emblem of the Principality and every ten minutes they will automatically pick up the spectators and turn them upside down to shake all their money out of their pockets.

Canada: Wow, what a fantastic grandstand! With the roof in the shape of two crossed hockey sticks and each seat made to look like an ice-hockey puck and…..You mean this is for sport, but it ain't ice hockey?

USA: The grandstand will feature giant Golden Arches, the seats will be in the shape of double giant burgers and include two, 2 litre capacity drinks holders.

France: The French organisers have refused to cooperate with this request, stating that France occupies a unique place in the history of motorsport and it will not be dictated to as long as the glorious Federation Internationale de l'Automobile is run by an Englishman. This is their position and they will not go back on it until someone gives them some money.

Britain: The British organisers embraced this project with enthusiasm. Unfortunately, the building is running behind schedule and might be ready for the 2014 Grand Prix. In the meantime, the grandstand features a few cement blocks and no roof. So, that would be an accurate replica of the Silverstone facility today then?

Germany: With their very own Hermann Tilke too busy designing identical circuits in the desert regions of the world, an English architect came up with a design for Nurburgring grandstands that featured an image of a beach towel on every seat.

Hungary: The unusually steep steps in the Hungaroring grandstand were specifically designed to showcase the Hungarian National Costume, the mini-skirt.

Turkey: A grandstand you say? Sit down, relax, take your shoes off, eat some olives, drink some coffee, smoke a pipe. What do you mean, it's got to be built in one month?

Italy: The grandstand should represent the glorious days of the Roman Empire, decorated with replicas of some of the greatest works of art of the Renaissance period. At least that was the plan until the money went missing and the Project Manager set up home in the Cayman Islands.

Belgium:

Japan: What's that? We missed out making a joke about Belgium? We're an F1 team, not talented comedy scriptwriters. The Japanese grandstand was designed by a committee so it looks like a Toyota F1 car, but seats cost a fortune.

China: They decide to produce a grandstand that reflects their great contribution to Global Warming. The seating area is shaped like an Oil Refinery. We didn't say anything about their contribution to reducing Global Warming.

Brazil: It's the people who make a great crowd, not the grandstand, so Sao Paulo quite rightly sticks with its favella-style bits of scaffolding.