First off we wish to send our warmest congratulations to Glen Winston Spencer Crompton and his good lady wife, Catherine Bouvier Crompton, on the birth of twins at 07:52 and 07:57 on Saturday (Melbourne Time).

For those that understand such things, the two little Crompos weighed in at, 6 pound 11 and 6 pound 2.

Sadly both babies take after their father, in that they are short, tubby, bald and whinge incessantly. They have also shown an early craving for the bottle, albeit milk.

Sadly, Glen couldn't be at the birth, due to an outstanding engagement - a darts match at the Plumbers Arms - however he assures us that Cath and the girls are fine and he hopes to get to see them later this week, schedule permitting

As yet, Glen and Cath haven't come up with suitable names for the two little Crompos, and pitpass editor Chris Balfe's suggestions of Sooty & Benny, Iggy and Ziggy and Bilko and Larry Sanders have been rejected.

Subsequently editor Balfe suggested that perhaps pitpass readers might be allowed to suggest two suitable names, after all it shouldn't be too difficult to suggest a couple of F1-related names for a pair of girls. (No we won't go there)

However, at this point we were shocked, nay out-raged, to discover that Crompton was already way ahead of us, and in true ACHQ (not to say F1) style is looking for a way in which to exploit the situation financially.

Although we refuse to get involved, we can report that Mr Crompton is seeking commercial opportunities, and consequently is putting the naming rights for both girls up for grabs.

We are well aware that in the past Mr Crompton has been willing to sell his journalistic integrity for a bagful of team baubles, but we never believed he would stoop this low.

Companies already involved in F1, or those without the sufficient money to get on the sponsorship ladder now have the perfect vehicle, two little Australian beauties who will go through life bearing the name of your product.

Note: These two little gems are the offspring of a loving couple born in wedlock, so a certain lager company need not apply.

Furthermore, as much as the Cromptons need a new bathroom suite, a certain former Minardi sponsor need not apply, there are depths to which even Crompo will not sink (no pun intended).

Should you have suggestions for names, please send them to the editor, those companies keen to discuss naming rights should contact Mr Crompton direct, having first looked deep in to their soul.