Chicken Little has plenty to answer for. Skies always stayed sleepy blue and overhead until he turned up and gave panic a human (well, chicken...) face.
Ever since that fateful barnyard sprint the 'panic d'jour' has combined effortlessly with the Emperor's new Armani to have otherwise sensible people running in circles, building fallout shelters for an Armageddon that never arrives.
And so to Formula One, the end of racing as we know it, and the appalling state of what, for want of a better name, are called the governing body and rules for our beloved sport.
Yes sport. I for one view it in the same spirit as both the World Cup (FIFA aside) and the Olympics (former Olympic committee issues aside). It is first and foremost a sport that grabs the heart, mind, and, well, dangling male bits, in equal measure and gives them a shake and a stir at the same time. As a result it becomes entertainment and spectacle because it is first and foremost a remarkable sport. Not the other way around. Not now. Not ever.
So having got that out the way let us use some strategic thinking to solve many problems with one mother of a rework. Our start premise? "Houston we have a problem..."
Sport stars not training as hard as a decade ago? Check.
Cars slower than the 'Golden Year' of 2004? Check.
Teams not happy, out of money, sulking, unable to find big note sponsors...? Check, check, check, oh, and... Check (actually the issue being, no cheque...).
Fans wondering what the Chicken Little is going on? Oh so very check.
Root cause. The bottom line problem? Money and power. Stay with me here.
For the London Olympics, Australia spent an average of $10 million Aussie dollars per medal (that's about fifty quid I think). The UK (based on figures they supplied to us antipodeans so I for one believe them totally...) apparently spent $7 million Aussie dollars per medal (about thirty quid I think). Not allowing for the zinbillion dollars spent on infrastructure and removing leaves from rail lines or whatever it is the British do to tidy up when expecting visitors. Anyway, my point is, what makes the Olympic playing field 'even' is not giving South Africans UK passports, it's the amount spent by the geo-politically motivated governing bodies on grass roots development of the sport, and then elite athlete programmes. One can nearly line the competing nations up in order of budget and predict the medal tables.
Yes, America, Russia, and China have more random genetic samples from which to base a team (that's humans...) but overall as long as you have a few million randomly generated humans in your nation, just spend the money on the good ones and the results will follow.
The good news for those of us who hope for at least some excitement in the finals of each sport is that all the top nations have enough money to spend and that at the end of the day it is (genetic engineering and drug cheats aside) a level playing field. For each discipline at least three or four countries have found the right people and invested in them to make it a real sporting contest.
Throw in nerves, blind good luck, and the remarkable strength of the human spirit and each Olympics delivers moments that leave us breathless, heart in mouth, tears in eyes, at a performance that will live in our minds and become legend for years untold...
Just like that race when Senna... Or Mansell... Or that day in the rain when Michael... Moments that transcend both sport and the human condition to deliver a spiritual moment of sheer achievement and performance so far beyond what we expected that we are breathless, in awe, and addicted all in the same moment in an intoxicating moment of sporting greatness. We just witnessed a human reach for the stars and touch the face of God (or the Universe, or Gaia or whatever you believe in). We cannot express it other than to scream in delight or hug the person next to us. That is sport at its true greatest. Transcending the human condition and delivering an experience we feel, not think.
Money and power rob us of those moments. Our souls are being sold cheap. And no one asked us the reserve price.
We need to make F1 more like the Olympics. We need the playing field to be level enough that a number of teams could win on the day. But just as a 'one make series' in the Olympics, where every athlete is an American, would bore us rigid and destroy interest, so we cannot, must not, have a one make F1. So what to do?
Naturally dear reader I would not have begged your indulgence without posing a possible answer for you to either embrace or reject. I don't mind which... Just please, whatever you do, do not be indifferent. As Martin Luther King so gloriously said "Evil happens when good men do nothing".
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